Annual Frosh Desecration VOLUME XII MEMPHIS, TENN., FEB. 6, 1931 NUMBER 19 SANHEDRIN BOWS TOFRESHMEN DR. DIEHL WINSI RAGING BATTLE ON PRESIDENCY Beloved Leader Out With Flying BOARD BACKS Comes Colors DIEHL Critics Wield Hearsay Ir Vain To Remove Him By a unanimous vote Dr. Chare E. Diehl was vindicated by the South western Board of Directors of al charges brought against him by group of Presbyterian pastors, in hearing held Tuesday afternoon i Palmer Hall. The decision came an hour afte the charges had been presented by S Rev. J. P. Roberteon, the patoss sps m g m . The resolution, *40 Male that "the hurch owes 9 t i .nu.. - ot5d &..*sc .L J".rh n lwa signed by the 14 members of tl1s B e a who were present at the hear= ing. DISPERSE HEARSAY Commenting on the weakness and inconclusiveness of the evidence pre- sented by the ministers, the resolu- tion stated that "not hearsay, but only the strongest and clearest evi- dence should be allowed to lodge against such a splendid record." "This has not been found. The in- vestigation has not only completely vindicated him from every charge, but has presented a fresh and con- vincing demonstration of the vast value of his servites." ROBERTSON ATTACKS Rev. Robertson, in his lengthy speech, accused Dr. Diehl of modern- ism, extravagance, unsoundness of theological belief, and allowing "shocking" dances on the Southwest- ern campus. Other members of the opposition to Dr. Diehl appeared be- fore the Board, but their, evidence was considered by the members as groundless and based mostly on hear- say. The hearing lasted the entire after- noon and took the form of a jury proceeding that ranged from baffling theological questions to campus dances and the cost of bulletin boards. Stylus Club Sets New Spring Style The prevailing styles for the spring season were shown at a meeting of the Stylus club last night in the Bell Room. Members of the club ap- peared as mannequins in a beautiful array of future styles. Jimmy Harrison exhibited a gorge- ous pair of silk '"underthings" which will be" much in vogue on and off (the campus) this spring. Maury Hull, gown by Adrian, pre- sented a pretty picture in a charming creation of brindle wool. He carried a handbag of Tyrian purple embla- zoned with Old Gold. This frock is good for possum hunts and other outdoor night activities. Other stunning combinations were revealed, but to tell them would 'be revealing too much and even the Stylus Club has some modesty. Curtis Is Veteran Vice-President Curtis, who cele- brated his 71st birthday Jan. 25, has spent more than half of his life in Congress. Look Here First Before Reading Listen, you all. Before you all plants yore peepers on this hyar issue ob de Sou'wester yuh gotta remember that it's de freshmun issue and any- thing is fair. You all done did enuff to we uns so far this year to last us till de end of our lives. Now we gits even wid you in dis hyar paper. Tek yo medicine lak de men yuh ain't. If you all don't lak sumpin read sumpin else, and vice versa. We done cut loose with both guns a-blazin and al- «t-....,' Frosh Paddle Davis ILEADERS ADMIT WEAKNESS WITH FROSH "H EMEN" High Priest Brigance At End of Tether YOUNG DEPOSE OLD Freshies March Forward Toward Campus Rule. thougn we aon t mean to hurt The Sandhedrin council, long a sore you all wid real sho nuff bul- spot on freshmen, has been disbanded lets we figgers on puttin de fear by High Priest "Bru" Brigance be- a of Gawd in yuh wid de whine cause of lack of power on the part S ob de lead. of upperclassmen to enforce its dog- We calculated as how you all matic rule. Dr. Diehl in an inter- r wud druther hab a live wire view with a reporter refused to go Y issue den a serious one so we into details of the disbanding of the done taken a shot at ebery- traditional suppressers of freshman in- ' 1ode a dividuality, but looked happy at the S you gts party's thought that the freshman class has s ilt for ee body. tte yo t ta stc1 en its o. 11, an Ubo1 t .' , priNH RN.POWERL . De freshtnin. "The Saniif ri has ceasei d to serve its purpose," Prexy gave as his onty reason. And that was absolutely all D. T. PI LOCAL he had to say on the subject. But the staff "Sherlock Holmes' GOES TRI-DELT did a little sleuthing around. Luckily for him (he isn't quite the equal of Watson's friend) others in on the Get Charter From Na- know weren't quite so niggardly with their information as Prexy. tional Sorority; Install It seems that a committee led by Chapter Soon the redoubtable "Snookums" High- tower and "Bru" Brigance, invaded or Delta Theta Pi, the only local so- rather slunk into Dr. Diehl's office rority on the Southwestern campus, Take a squint at the scene shown the spot yesterday. His rear extrem- early yesterday morning. They con- received a wire Tuesday night from above, upperclassmen, and bow your ity has been duly chastised and he isfessed an inability to manage t he Delta Delta Delta, national sorority, heads in meek submission to the pow- shown blubbering to be let loose just strong freshmen class this year. stating that they will grant the local ers of the freshman class. Jeff Davis, before the final and decisive blow This was all "Sherlock" needed to group a charter during the latter part the lad with the bull head and bat falls. go on. At this point he discovered of March. Rumors to the effect that brains, has just been taken for a ride This may happen to you so youo times two is a subtle varia- the representative or inspector of the by frosh gangsters who put him on better be careful. Boo! tion of two plus two. Follows his Tri-Delts had put her stamp of ap- Girl Stork M ad In FROSH FORGE FORWARD. proval on the D. T. Pi have been cir- proval on the D. T. Pi have been cir- Nitist Club Has Girl Stork M ad In FROSH FORGE FORWARD. culating on the campus for some days, Beginning last fall the Freshman but the early arrival of the wire of Neatest Contest Evergreen Dorm class has evinced an unusual spirit as acceptance came as a pleasant sur- to hazing. It has sadly lacked the acceptance came as a pleasant sur- The Neatest Club met last night to docile submissiveness of freshman prise to the members of the sorority hold their semi-annual "neatness" con- Miss Glutts Raving Mad classes of yore. Examples the shat- and their numerous friends on the test. Prizes were awarded the win- tered Royal Rattler; a swimming campus. ners. Following Illness party at which the talkative Mr. Delta Theta Pi was organized Oct. Johnny Hughes won first prize for Whitaker was the only bather. A lit- 23, 1929, and was recognized by the having the cleanest pair of ears. He Sophie Glutts, prominent co-ed and tie later followed the famous Fresh- Pan-Hellenic Council in November got a cake of Ivory soap. a member of Rho Rho Rho sorority, man insurrection, unsuccessful only of the same year. They petitioned Prof. J. H. Davis rated a set of went stark mad in Evergreen Hall because of the lack of intestinal for- Tri-Delta in November, 1930. collapsible false teeth for having a last night and will be confined to her titude of its leaders. Delta Delta Delta was founded at coat and pants to match. That is, his room for a week, according to a DAVIS IS LAST STRAW. Boston University on Thanksgiving pants matched the color of his coat. statement of Dr. John R. Drake, who And last of all, desecrations of dese--. Eve, 1888. It is recognized as one Ronald Hayhoe looked like a little is her insulting physician. crations, the tallying of one Jeff of the leading national sororities and sunbeam with his nicely washed mug. Miss Glutts caused quite a furore Davis, upperclassman, followed imme- has chapters in many of the large col- He drew a book of Mother Goose in the girls' dormitory when she be- diately by a cooling splash into Over- leges and universities, rhymes. gan screaming shortly after midnight ton Park Duck Lake by the same Members of Delta Theta Pi are Billy Marsh had soot in his mous- and continued on until dawn notwith- Mr. Davis. It is said that "Snook- Lyle Stanage, president; Elise Mc- tache so he got the booby.prize which standing efforts of her roommates to ums" got "his" at the same time. Daniel, vice-president; Alice Rogers, was a can of "Old Dutch Cleanser." quiet her. After the wounding of Senior corresponding secretary; Louise The club will give special demon- Miss Glutts has never been trou- Davis' "dignity," the committee to Mitchell, secretary; Catherine Bige- strations of neatness at chapel serv- bled this way before. If she does not Dr. Diehl and his resulting action (Continued on Page 2) ices all next week. improve she may never be again. "need no explaining. Well Sir! You should have been out at the Casino Monday night of February 2nd. It certainly was a beautiful evening gowns and boys in their Tuxies and a big orchestra and the ball-room all lighted up. ,By the way, this was the occasion of the Second Men's Pan-Hellenic party, you know that organization of the fraternities at Southwestern. Here are a few little interesting things about it: PARTY IS HALF-LIT The ball-room was half-lit with pretty lights and was ery becoming- ly decorated with sun-flowers and dog-finnal. These beautiful plants mingled with the extravagant per- fumes of Miss Meredith Davis (it is rumored that it cost her 25 cents for a quart of it, something imported it is, thought because of the price of it) made a wonderful odor which wafted about the room. MARY ALLIE ENTERS There was Mary Allie Taylor, the' girl that Malcolm Ritchie, president of the Pan-Hellenic Council, was seen with not long ago in that notorious night club. Well anyway she had on a most gorgeous gown. The skirt (Continued on Page 3) 17 The passing of the Sanhedrin coun- cil marks another step forward in freshmen supremacy at Southwestern. Press Gang Shows Good Year Report The Press Club has turned into the Bursar its annual report of press- ing activities. An unusually good trade for the fiscal year ending Feb- ruary I was enjoyed. The statistics show the following items: Pants pressed _.... 14 Coats ....... ... 123 Nighties ... ... 99 Unmentionables_. Gobs and gobs ,1 - j1 r . 3 PANHELL PARTY IS A WOW Witty Reporter Gives Graphic Picture Of Hop I. / i iI v - v _ .,,,~~ . ,%- cli' 14.. . lQ.. ~_1 m '. I ~---- - - _I i 17 ------ -- '----- ------ C C C~ L "i. I ~J, . -i , _ _ - _- _- + =-- I THE, SOU'WESTER -- Lampoons Done In A Nice Way Doc Johnson: I bet there's noth- ing like this pocketbook around here, I made it out of my amputated leg. Doc Cooper (who had an opera- tion on his stomach): Well, I don't know. I have a tennis racket I am mighty proud of. Red: I like a 'man who has some- thing tender about him. Allison: Yeah, Legal tender. *** Prof. Townsend: Why all of these quotation marks in your paper, Mr. Hightower. Snookums: Out of courtesy to Mr. Diehl in the next seat. * * * Gammage is only 99.44 per cent pure. He was heard whistling a naughty song the other night. Freshette: There is a woman out- side with a man. Mrs. Rutland: Tell her I will take him. ** * What was the cause of the collision at the corner today? Two motorists after the same pedestrian. Gunman: Hand up, or I'll blow out your brains. Goof Hinson: H-ahahaha-haha- hahaha. ** * "WHAT DOES CO-ED STAND FOR?" "CRUSH ON EVERY DATE." "WHAT IS THE HYPHEN FOR?" "OH, THAT IS THE DISTANCE THEY KEEP WHEN THE DEAN OF WOMEN IS AROUND" * * * Katie Reid: "So your mother said you must tell a man to stop when he tries to neck you. Miss Pape: Yes, she says it makes them ever so more persistent. * * * "There are lots of couples that don't pt in parked cars." "Yeah, the woods are full oL them" HOW TO AVOID MORNING MOUTH-GET A JOB AS NIGHT- WATCHMAN. * s Joe McKinnon: Shall we go outside for a little walk? Imogene C.: You fellows have the funniest way of saying what you mean. Pitt: I always know a good cigar when I see it. Teddy: Yeah? Pitt: Yeh, if there is not too much mud on it. THEY CALL HER "CHECKERS" BECAUSE SHE ALWAYS JUMPS WHEN YOU MAKE A BAD MOVE. Izzy: It is bad luck to walk under a ladder. Bud: Not when there is a pretty girl on it *** Dr. McDougall (absent-mindedly) : Hello, Angel Face, how is your father? A FRIEND NOT IN A FRIEND INDEED. * * * NEED IS Suggested slogan for Neely Hall- "Our Meals Will Make You Feel Like Eating at Home." ** * JIMMIE WALLS SAYS NEVER TO MISTAKE ASTHMA FOR PASSION. * * * It is no longer true that a girl has to have lots of clothes to get any place in society. 4..... ~_. _.. .. .. _ . . _., .- * Poetry Corner T CUM AMORE (Dedicated to Miss Neidelberg, with best wishes of Goof Hinson.) In Lover's Lane mosquitoes fly And light in each sweet lover's eye. And they respect not age nor sex; The sweet young things they love to vex. They love to light on a laddie's nose And make that member red as a rose. I never walk in Lover's Lane, Because mosquitoes cause such pain. For when all is said and done, Only the mosquitoes have any fun. THE SOU'WESTER ANNUAL PROSH DESECRATION Published through the printer's error annually by the Freshman Class at Southwestern, Memphis, Tennessee. Interred as fifth-rate male matter at the post-office at Memphis, Tenn. under the act of March 3, 1878. VOL. XII MEMPHIS, TENN., FEB. 6, 193.1' No. 19 EDITORIAL STAFF Chief Desecrator ....-.-. ------------- Don MacQueen Stewart Hall Southwestern Campus Sport Spurts - -_-__--....--- -- Ca.rk Porteous Wild Humor........... .-..--------- _ . - --.. Bob Freeman Chief Sit and Bull . ..-...-___._Mike Farrin The Dopey Devil------------------------ - ..--. Dan Ross Poet Laureate ._.__-___---_..._.___ ___. _ _ _Henry Oliver Poser of Pictures .- ___-___--.-. .. Ray Sanders Circulation Expert.- ... ....... ------ ._---- Harte Thomas BUSINESS STAFF Ain't got no business publishing this, anyway. All copy for publication must be in the Sou'wester office by 2 p.m. the afternoon the paper appears on the campus. This paper costs two bits-worth lots more. DON'T GET ON YOUR EAR, PLEASE If you are "panned" or if your secret scandal has been made public don't bawl or bring a libel suit, remember this will hurt is worse than it does you. This is the Freshman issue and if some of our attempts at humor fail to click, blame it on the stupidity rather than the ill will of the editors. MAKE FROSH OF MID-TERM GUYS The freshmen entering Southwestern in the fall are helped to find their proper status in the scheme of things by the straw hats, bonnets and other insignia of the frosh. While there are not so many entering at mid-semester, we feel that some plan should be devised for reminding them that they are only freshmen, and not to be taken seriously. This will not only keep the more an- cient frosh from feeling that they have been treated with partiality but will help the new-comers to become acquainted and prevent their missing one of the most enjoyable periods of their lives. LET'S TONE DOWN ON THE NOISE During the week of examinations there were quite a few com- plaints about the excess volume of the radios which belong to stu- dents in the dormitories. Even late at night it was imposible to study because of the incessant stream of jazz and static. Radios are undeniably helpful and entertans btflrfret tiues *A they become sources of Vsry d . throughout the hal. Let's be a little moe considerate of our neighbors and put the dimmer on the loud speaker. GIVE PROF. HADEN A BIG HAND Prof. Hladen has begun work on the Southwestern presentation of "The Pirates of Penzance," Gilbert and Sullivan's famous comic opera. In the past he has done much to make Southwestern's stu- dent body "music conscious." Both Prof. H-laden and those assisting him in the production deserve the appreciation and support of the student body. Voice of The People Dear M r. Editor: land troubled nights governed by a Bacon and eggs, served on one plat-Icalendar of breakfasts. Monday, tr intended for simultaneous con-! Wednesday, Friday and Saturday are sumptdon, are a' much an American egg mornings; not smiling egg morn- institution a chewing gum and F's ings. but plebeian, scrambled messy in Physcs. It is the one dish which egg mornings. 'Tuesday, Thursday is equally at home on the breakfast and Sunday are bacon days but plate of a \'anderbilt' or a Sopho- greasy, slimy bacon days. days begun more, on a stomach which tells the world 1he anticipation of a plate of eggs, it deserves more humane treatment. with thir smiling faces shining up a The quotation "Together we stand message of cheer from a background divided we fall" applies just as ap- of crisp, brown bacon, has made many propriately to bacon and eggs as it a student (resident of a college) en- once did to our errant forefathers. dure the rigors of the cold shower What is Southwestern, known with stoic fortitude. throughout the length and breadth of Nothing, with the possible excep- its campus and even as far as Stewart tion of bicarbonate of soda, so suc- Hall for its rabid adherence to tradi- cessfully counteracts a night of de- tion, to hold in such contempt the bauchery as does this epicurean dish, dish of our fathers? The dormitory student of South- western knows nothing of this delight. His life is a series of unhappy days A Butter and Egg Man. Urge Students To Riot For Notice Brnard Seeks New Way To Publicity, New York-(l P)-That the sug- gestion of the Barnard College Bul- letin that the women of the college should riot in order to call attention to their school and thus gain finances, was not entirely wasted, was indi- cated, according to the New York Times, when a Princeton man sent the paper $1, accompanied by a let- ter, which read, in part: "We feel that nothing will indicate our sentiments better than the en- closed donation, the interest of the principle to be used for the purpose of fostering, inciting and urging on to riot, the Barnard students. We Pleads Birth Control New Brunswick, N. J.-(IP)-The backwardness of the United States in comparison with other countries on the issue of birth control was scored by Miss Henrietta Hart, eecutive- secretary of the Nw Jersey League of Birth Control, at the League of Women Voters meeting here recently. In Germany, she pointeout, there are 22 regular birth control clinics, while in Japan and England the prob- lem is considered important. would appreciate notice of the time and place for any forthcoming riot to be conducted under your auspices." The dollar is to be used to pur- chase the Barnard postcards which Barnard alumnae are selling in their campaign of publicity for the college, The Bulletin said. Barnard undergraduates this year have awakened to the fact that their college, because it is associated with SUETOLOU Dear Lou : As was to be expected, Pan Hellenic turned out a howling success. The old The Popular Prof Baton Rouge, La.-(lP)-An arti- cle in The Reveille, undergraduate newspaper of the Louisiana State University, declares that of all the types of instructors on the campus, the most hated, and at the same time barn, more respectably known as the the most popular in the end, is the Casino, was the scene of the cele- so-called "Hard-boiled prof." brated "sop," Students Hear Now Catherine Brown and Buster Dial Oberlin, 0.-C IP)- Because stu- made a charming pair. Catherine's dents accused of disorder in chapel head rested demurely on - Buster's told college authorities they were un- brawny shoulder. This couple was able to hear the lectures, officials at closely rivaled by Meredith Davis Oberlin College hired an acoustical and her football hero, Wes Liverdais. engineer and repaired the chapel's I saw Edith Graff and Tommy acoustics. Drake engaged in serious conversa- tion. I think this is going to be one D. T. Pi Local goes Tri-Del of the season's interesting cases. "Bru" and Dr. Cooper's niece caused a sen- (Continued from Pale I) sation as they entered the dining hall, low, treasurer; and Margaret Gunn, however, they started a miniature riot Grace Carkeet, Annabel Cox, Emma as they were again seen together at Frances Robinson, Annie Mae Mc- the Pan. Daniel, Peggy Martin, Edith Graff, Dr. Warren is now gunning for the Marguerite Conley, and Sara Crowe famous roomys. Dan Ross and Bill Ransom. Wright, because of their undivided The charter will be granted in the attention to the good Doctor's wife, latter part of March. The D. T. Pi's It sure was a swanky party. Wish Jwill all be initiated into Tri Delta at you could have been here. that time. Better luck to Dr. Cooper next time. Yours, SUE. I The newspaper man must know the truth as fully as it can be known, be ready and fearless to tell it, and then know how to tell it-John H. Finley. COSTUMES Wie, Beards Accessories for MinstrelsAmteu Theatuicals, School Plays, Parties, Balls Send List of Requirements for Estimates Memh.is Costume & Reallis Co. 241 .Main Phone $186Across from our Old Location Success Laundry, Inc. LAUNDRY & DRY CLEANING 1000 Jefferson Ave. 2-3125 Campus Rep.-Harry Walton @range aIace affIe bop Best Waffles In Town We cater to small fraternity parties at any hour. Telephone 4-9190 for reservations. MRS. HELEN GUIGOU, Manager NIWSUM-WARREN LAUNDRY CO. 299-307 S. Dunlap Street Phones 8-1260-8-1268-8-1269 Call for us to pick up your rug or carpet UNION THEOLOGICAL SEMINARY Richmond, Virginia Founded 1812. Jointly owned by the Synods of Virginia, North Carolina, West Virginia, Appalachia HAS A Distinguished Faculty Nineteen Buildinigs, on a Fifty Acre Campus A Moderate Endowment, and Many Scholarships For Catalog and information address REV. B. R. LACY, JR., D.D., President PARTNERS WITH THE PUBLIC The services rendered by these two companies are factors in promoting the progress of the community and the well-being of all the people. We count it a privilege to serve the city's eco- nomic and social life in such an impor- tant way, and try to prove ourselves helpful partners in every worthy en- deavor. Memphis Power & Light Company The Memphis Street Railway Co. 1 ' . Page Two 1 -- I- - -- ._.y .... I: : : t.+ i . T THE SOU'WESTER Page Three HORSEY RIDERS PLAN BIG HUNT Will Ride to Hounds Over Wild and Rocky Course Horsey enthusiasts have formed a Leather and Lather Club which meets weekly. The "lather" part of the name comes from their habit of turning a nice afternoon ride into a wild gallop, after which the poor horses feel like the morning after the night before. They will stage a fox hunt in Over- ton Park tomorrow if efforts to get the zoo superintendent to release one of the many Reynards prove success- ful. Dr. Bassett on a prancing charger will be master of the hunt which will begin in front of Palmer Hall at 1:30. Arrangements have been made to eat a light lunch at Fortune's. The fox has agreed to run down Union Ave- nue to make the hunt more spectacu- lar, He will not be allowed to hop rides from passing cars. However, if he sees an Austin going his way it is perfectly all right for him to jump on top and coast a while. Horse back riding has recently sup- planted ping pong as the college rage. From one extreme to the opposite. Ping Pong requires the minimum of exercise, a simple wrist motion. While horse backing as performed by the campus sports seems to shake up at least ninety-nine percent of the mus- cles of the body, not to mention along with a few other essentials. From a close study of Billy (Sis) Wright's methods, a great deal of el- bow motion is evidently necessary. Billy is a typical leather hugger. He boasts that he learned how it should be done while fox trotting. p .......... --.--- BOOZE WHO The Freshman class recently held an election of who they thought to be the most dtrmental studts at Southweste ind ave : the of the ers, Most disagreeable numskull in school: Harry Walton. Biggest pest among students: Harold High. Three boys most hated among co-eds: Marion Painter, H A, K 9. Jamsie Harrison, A K, S B. Charles Plummer, B A H, P P. Most unbearable girls (besides Laughlin, Malone, Harris and Lilly): Frances Durham Ann Galbreath Batty Hagen Jane Barker Most popular fone number among men 2-4045 The living meaning of the word "gripe:" Horace Harwell Mr. Personality Plus (old hot stuff himself) : Harvey Drake. Largest potions of hot air and con- centrated bull: George Whitaker Meredith Davis Dr. Shewmaker The most active member of the D. F or Imbecile Club: Goof Hinson Pee Wee Hines Clough Eaton Biggest parasite and cigarette bum Teddy Johnson Those who ran close seconds fo: three or more places are: Russell Brigance Jeff Davis Albert Erskine F'rances Arthur Morg Spills Beans In Kitchen Crast Friday night's dinner proved ver: disastrous to Waiter Ritchie "Hash Slinger' Morgan. Morgan, afte having expostulated long' and loud t his 'Fratres in Kitchenate,' was at tempting to put into practice som of his speech, when a loud crash wa heard. His brothers all rushed to th rescue and carried the unfortunat Ritchie into the kitchen. He wa found to have only a few minor cut, however, and soon a wrecking cre, was dispatched to clean up the debri In an interview Morgan expresse his regrets and apologized to the stt dent body. "It means potatoes an beans for the rest of the week," waile poor Ritchie, who was probabl thinking of Mrs. Daly's economizin progam.. The loss was $10.00. Catty Boys Get Right and Spout Out Their Ideas of Certain Goofy Greeks Anonymous Pair Give All the Lowdown on Pictures In-Last Year's Annual; See What They Say. BY SOME UPPERCLASSMEN. For one who lacks amusement last year's annual is always a handy thing. We came in one night and fell prostrate on our bed, weary from boredom. Since we could not light a Murad, we reached for the annual instead. TIHEM SOUTHERN GEN S. Opening it at random we gazed first at that page of true Southern gents. Jimmy Harrison, with his languid eyes, kissable lips and Se- ductive expression, looked up at us like God's answer to a maiden's prayer. Just a few of the aristocrats were there, so we didn't linger long there. That crazy Tommy Drake would make anybody turn over a new leaf. " THOSE KAPPA SIGS. Turning backwards as always, we found the Kappa Sigs in array. How in 'thell can anybody tell which is Jimmy and which is Johnny? And isn't that a funny picture of Joe Mc- Kinnon--oh, that's not JF, that's Bill Daniel. Wasn't he cute though? Painter looks like he just jumped out of the cradle. Wonder why he doesn't get a new picture once in a coon's age. A. O. PI'S LOSE GALS You know the A. O. Pi's sure lost some good girls last year. Shame. "Goody Goody Bright Eyes" wasn't here to pledge a few more for them. You know she thinks she's got power. THE AMAZON ARMY. The Chi Omegas sure had an army last year, didn't they? Isn't that a funny picture of T. Hudson! Doesn't look anything' like her, but that sure flatters Cordelia Jones. The whole crew looks like they were half shot at sunrise. Wouldn't be a bad ideaa. 4 . I, BIG MUSCLE MEN. On first glance the A. T. 0. chap- ter was mistaken for the football squad. Don't you think Snookums is a honey! He's so innocent looking. We'd hate to have any one of that thuggish gang after us in the dark, especially "Ironjaw" Walker. PI K. A. LOWDOWN. A black cloud now passed over both our minds. "Wonder if the Pi K. A.'s were satisfied with their chap- ter." Don't see how they could have been with that crew. If they didn't have all the lab assistants they'd be lower than a duck's instep on the campus. AND THE OLD ARMY. Then we turned to the American Legion, commonly known on the cam- pus as the S. A. E.'s Bill Gammage looks like a mongoose, and Stanley Frazer like what the cat drug in. Wonder if that kid ever had his ade- noids removed. The whole crew ought to take Lydia E. Pinkham's Vegetable Compound. The T. N. E's-wonder where Dr.. Cooper was when they took the pic- tures. All the Beta Sigs smirked out at us, but we couldn't stand them long. Toto looks like a bullfrog about to be gigged. Malcolm Ritchie looks like a collar advertisement. HO HUM! JUST K. D.'S. Of course the first girl we saw in the K. D. section was "Miss Arthur." She takes the cake for nonchalance. Meredith looks like Mrs. Rutland at a wild party with that reproving look. This gang won't stand much talk, so we passed on. But we do wonder where "Box" Seats is this year. They say that four out of five Zeta girls have "It." Wonder where'the twenty "'Jt irs are, Maybe thoe - N Seems like we're always getting the A. T. O.'s mixed up. We thought sure we had found an extra page of them, but, lo ad behold, it was only the D. T. Pi's and we had just seen Alice Rogers. They're O. K. in a way, but you know that old gag about not weighing much. Lyle's their best bet by a long shot. TRACK TEAM SICKLY. Dr. Rasberries' track team is the sickliest group on record. "Sugar" Diehl is sure a high-kicking kid. Wonder how'"Goof" Hinson ever re- members football siggals. Chauncey is sure coming out in his old age- getting to be real good. JONES MODEL LIPS Hasn't Paul Jones the most kissa- ble lips! Guess they're monopolized now though. Well, Meredith managed to get in ,most of the snap shots as usual, but Harriet Shepherd ran her a close second. As we drew toward the front we naturally turned to the faculty and with that glimpse lost all sense of consciousness and drifted off into dreamland where "Hal" and the aroma of roses predominated. I am rarely enthusiastic about what the League of Nations has done or has not done, but I am always glad it exists.-Prof. Albert Einstein. It is not a laughing age. Notice how little laughter you hear on the streets.-Sherwood Anderson. Friends: "This broadcast reaches you through station E. E. G." EAST 'END GARDEN In response to many requests we have reduced the price of admission to Fifty-Cents per Person Bob Anderson's Ten Piece East End Orchestra playing for you dance music which you do not hear elsewhere. Tell your friends and come out Saturday Night, February 7th for a glorious time. FEBRUARY 14th IS VALENTINE DAY Remember her by sending a box of candy in a special Valentine wrapper. Or some in and let us suggest other pleasing gifts. Southwestern Pharmacy, Inc. "Service (hat Pleases" Free Delivery *. .~. Which is the longer of these two horizontal lines? If you know the answer-try it on someone else. YOUR EYES MAY FOOL YOU BUT YOUR TASTE tells the Truth! MILDER ... AND BETTER TASTE ©Q193,,LtCJrEr& Muzas' , I"a e A. ,i' r ,b 41. V Phone 7-202 I $ _ _ _ _ _ u1j AF-r IL. ,I -0%, .: : tr rrr Page Four THE SOU'WESTER N _ L - - - - 1 Frosh Take Lead in Sports Activities /I The above tintype is just one of "pedal") through the country! the many examples of the diversity It takes a freshman and freshette of interests among the freshman class with both nerve and verve to mount at Southwestern. Miss Reynolds and such a treacherous steed as is de- Mr. Bearden have just come in from picted above. Upperclassmen find a long ride and are sporting broad pepsodent smiles. i'ow they do en- their joints too stiff with lumbago joy a bri-' canter (say rather and the gout caused by eating Whita- p ..nh .ll Party Is a ow uine brass taken from the radiator of Panhll Party Is a Wow Raskob's Ford and it matched her (C,,ntinued from Page 1) neck exactly. was a ccse fitting model (T) of grass KATY SCORES BIG HIT green m)squito bar, with a loose jack - hen there was Miss Katy Reid e of blle woolen material. Thering(czzin' to the famous Wally Reid, in her nose (beg pardon, the one (cjzzin' to the famous Wally Reid, in her nose (beg pardon, the one ted movie contortionist). She around her ankle) W 'a bo- h stnning-her gown g made of flour t a, athwith thread taken from n e f ce Saunders wrap- .pi coters, It was gathered at the waste and tied, over the shoulders in APEX a nonchalant manner with a beau- tiful combination of sea-grass rope and bailing wire. Her hair was held in place by cockleburrs taken from 1693 LAMAR behind the Chi Omega house. These Phone7-1745 mingled with a gorgeous array of white lilies on her back made a beau- See Bill Walker or "City" tiful costume. Her foot wear was Thomason by Florsheim, a beautiful model in a canvas shoe with red strings. Then Jennie Puryear, called Jennie WALK, RUN OR RIDE Burford for short, was there, the girl WALK, RUN OR with the body by Fisher. She wore a stream-lined model, low slung and to racy looking. Her lights were a lit- tle dim but altogether she was some RUSTIC INN class. ALLEY HAS GRACE for And can this Elizabeth Alley dance? Sandwiches and Cold Drinks Graceful as a horse on skates and just exactly like pushing around the statue of liberty on a river barge. Just 2374 Summer Ave. floats about in your arms like the Leviathan. She's a little hard to steer but that's because she's a little off balance, it is thought. Miss Ella Kate Malone, the A. O. H O U C S Pi walking zoo, was there. (Nuff HOU CKSsaid). 103 SOUTH MAIN STREET It was just too bad that the even- ing was completely ruined when James Hamilton, president of the VICTOR Honor Council, and Harold Ohlen- dorf, President of Beta Sigma Fra- RECORDS ternity, threw a drunken brawl in the middle of the floor. Victor Radio-Electrola C. G. CONN BAND & ORCHESTRA INSTRUMENTS Sheet Music, Teach- ers Supplies It always pays to get Houc's price and Houck's terms be- fore you buy a musical in- strument of any kind O. K. HOUCK PIANO CO. ] Ii JEFF DAVIS INJURED Jeff Davis was struck on the head with a ladies compact believed to have been thrown by Tommy Drake or Jimmie Harrison. Dr. Davis was there and he also received a minor injury from his wife because he wanted to dance with Dr. Cooper instead of her. Prof. Warren was there with his ball and chain. Nice looking couple too, both were "elegant" looking. Marion Painter was found by the orchestra leader hiding from the re- porter in the base horn because he hated publicity, and he is always spotted in a crowd because of his swanky appearance. (Adv. The Dixie Shop). And there was Billy Hughes, that college "bread" man (four years loaf) in his Tux. Tall, hungry looking bird this Hughes guy, just under- nourished. Marion "Goo-Goo Eyes" Pape was there too. The boys just wouldn't let her have a moment's peace. They /5,.,,' ker's chile to indulge in such dan- gerous travel. Next week the Sou'wester will run the second of its educational snap- shots. It will feature Harry Walton leading chapel in his underwear and will bear the title, "Suppose You Wore Paris Garters." thronged about her continually just begging for a dance. But alas! she couldn't give them all a break. She did what she could though. She just hates boys, it can't be seen why she shoed when she has so much of "it." HAGAN STOPS PARTY Elizabeth Hagan came in and the orchestra stopped to annourqe her y ~ spea' grequest"i" ~M i~agifias g Everyone 'applauded as she strode across the hard-wood. She made a short modest speech of about thirty minutes about her past life and again the room roared in applause and she received a fruit shower. Miss Hagan wore a beautiful angelic looking gown by Hinton and Sons. Everyone noticed the devoted at- tention that a certain'Kappa Sig gave a certain .Kappa Delta pledge, too bad, Joe wore sack cloth and ashes. Someone had a song named Melody in "F" dedicated to the Physics class, lovely tune. HINES SPREADS FEAR The Honorable Mr. Morrys Hines, Esq., (alias "Pee-Wee"), was there. Poor fellow, he is so bashful and so easily embarrassed at times, but we didn't see any of his friends from the "Gas house gang." He left his famous "Mechanical Kiddie-Kar" at home and drug Kate Floyd over, in a new Skatterbolt phaeton. Every- one was warned in advance that he would be there so football suits were given at the doors to all ladies who preferred them. Theresa Lilly passed up the chance, she didn't need it. The struggle ended promptly at one o'clock and cars were called to take out the injuredt. Some of the MINISTERS POP UNDIES PARTY Faculty Turns Out For Big Whoopee Get-Together The Ministerial Club and the girls of the Y. W. C. A. collaborated last night in a negligee party which all proclaim as the gala social event of the year. The Pan looked like a W. C. T. U. convention in a speak- easy by contrast. The entire faculty were present and with this group of whoopee members to set the pace, ex- young ladies were rushed home by escorts, others to the Orange Palace, some to the Rex Grill, and it was rumored that Jimmie Harrison was kidnapped by a lady'bandit on his way home. The ransom price is one dollar ninety-eight, girls. FRENCHY SCORES TOO Many believed that Dr. Townsend's Parisian affection should have gotten first prize. However "Frenchy" says that he was more than satisfied with the embroidery bag and knitting needles which fell his way. Other prizes were given to Dean Hartley and Prof. Rhodes. The affair closed with Mrs. Rut- land giving an original variation of "Casey a$ the Bat." Fresh Flowers for Every Occasion Memphis Floral Co. W. O. KING. Pres. Phones, Day 8-2382; Nite 3-1367 130 Union Ave. citement and hilarity were only nat- ural. Dr. McDougall's entrance with Merrill provd the only discordant note of the evening as the reception committee found it necessary to re- fuse admittance to Angel Face be- cause of the tenderness of his age. However, the learned Doctor states that he never enjoyed himself more, and that if he had not been so un- fortunate in the strip poker game his evening would have been perfect. DR. COOPER WINS PRIZE After refreshments had been served, prizes were awarded to the wearers of the most daring and original cos- tumes. Dr. Cooper's original crea- tion of crimson gauze trimmed with tassels which fell half way to his shapely knees was awarded a year's subscription to the "Amateur De- tective." The second prize, a complete set of the Decameron Tales, was given to Dr. McDougall who's naturally seduc- tive figure was enhanced by a cling- ing bit of sable lace trimmed with ermine. Craig's Confectionery SANDWICH SHOP Corner Madison and Cooper Phone 7-9103 We Appreciate Your Busi- ness and Strive to Please I UNIVERSITY PARK CLEANERS 613 N. McLean Blvd. Campus Representatives Bob Logan Bill Berson 4 I I- I (.b DAINTY THINGS TO EAT 9:30 A. M. to Midnight The Alamo ON POPLAR PIKE 5 Blocks East of Parkway Park Your Car In NORTH YARD-EAST YARD-WEST YARD OR SOUTH YARD Tables Inside Who REMPOR T- GRAM A Record Said Year for "Depression"? Remington Rand Business Service Buffalo, New York Remington BUFFALO NY JAN 17 1931 TO REMINGTON PORTABLE DEALERS: MORE REMINGTON PORTABLES WERE SOLD AND DELIVERED IN DECEMBER NINETEEN THIRTY THAN IN ANY DECEMBER IN HISTORY STOP REMINGTON PORTABLES ABSORBED BY AMERICAN MARKET IN RELATION TO ALL OTHER PORTABLES HAVE SHOWN A SPLENDID INCREASE EVERY SINGLE MONTH SINCE JUNE STOP IMPRESSIVE RECOGNITION OF REMINGTON PORTABLES DISTINCTIVENESS STURDINESS AND RELIABILITY STOP ITS POPULARITY WITH DISCRIMINATING PORTABLE TYPEWRITER BUYERS OPENS THE DOOR WIDE TO YOUR PROSPECTS C A LEMKUHL ,scrl~urCUlfiaar*r~L~Ba~ l~ ~ -:--- s~- il tir-w -+ wi+fn - Ia THE, SOU'WESTER CHI DELTA HAS PEPPY MEETING Review "Whiz Bang" and Other Nice Stuff Chi Delta had its first meeting since the Christmas vacation on Tues- day night. It was a rather dull af- fair in comparison with some of the past peppy get-togethers. However one or two members warmed to their subjects. Reports on some of the more mod- ern literature were made by Frances Arthur, Jenny Puryear, Meredith Davis, and Maury Hull. Miss Arthur reported on the Janu- ary issue of Parisian Nights. She complained of the serious attitude ol this monthly, and hoped something could be done about it. She didn't know exactly what. Meredith in true Davis style said she enjoyed Eugene O'Neill's "Strange Interlude," but she just couldn't un- derstand some parts of it. (?) Jenny Puryear explained a few jokes taken from Whizz Bang. Maury, nonchalantly lighting a Murad (all the other girls envy Maury's smoking so) discussed the latest Modern Priscilla at length. The meeting ended before Maury finished Hightower (on telephone): Hello darling, would you like to dine with me tonight? She: I'd love to, dear. Hightower: Well, tell your mother that I will be over at seven o'clock. The Center of Smart Uinter-time Activities PEHOTEL EBODY ancing WEDNESDAY & SATURDAY NIGHTS Sammy Watkins AND HIS FAMOUS ORCHESTRA I I B r e r IS 't Brinkley's Boys Blare At Benefit Bill Brinkley's Royal Pan Beaters played their syncopated discords last week at a benefit ball held in the ball room of the Rho Rho sorority of 225 South Second Avenue. The pro- ceeds of the affair are to be given to those unfortunate upperclassmen who have been disabled in trying to quell the Frosh. In the receiving lines were: Gloria with Joe McKinnon, Marie with Teddy Johnson. Vielet with Hinky Hinson, Corinne with "Shifty" Logan. Janey with Chief Moore. and many other social figures. The Tale. of Two' Suitors Or. Why The Whitaker Scowl A Nonsensical Narrative in Three Acts. BY "FISH." ACT I. Scene I. Room in Robb. Bold Bill Berson of Brownsville sits silently perusing some sweetly scented sheets of pale pink... Sighs softly and sentimentally. FACULTY BOYS TOSS IVORIES Profs Show Rare Skill At Mathematical Art Faculty members know their "sprightly cubes." Here is an ac- count of a friendly game that oc- curred on a recent "stake" roast. Somebody lost plenty of something on it. "Goat" McDougall strolled up non- chalantly (apologies to Murad) and cried out in a stentorian voice. "Let me have the Dice." He grasped them in a steady hand. "Saint Paul, help me!" he bawled. "Merrill needs money now for his Pan bid." He rolledthe bones with a flourish and to his utter disgust crapped out. "Mine! -Mine!" squeaked "Wildcat" Wisewell "Just watch me make my point. I need money to buy that book on 'Easy Subjects Made Hard'." Curly Griffin laid hm a side bet of a buck that he couldn't make "Little Joe" and won. Doctor Raymond Cooper minced up. No this gallant outhern oP n a (iner F r.Winc, e u gugr unnaovutw.) up. INOW"LU IS .'.u..L J' oflrnI Bers: 'H'lo, Generalissimo." tleman either knows his "galloping P. W.: "Eee Oii, what's that?" dominoes" or else Detectives receive e (points to pale pink pages). special courses in them in order to be Bers: (blushes) "It's a letter from proficient in stopping "barnyard my aunt." poker" games by winning all the (Hines snatches p. p. pages. Reads.) money in sight. Anyway, Sherlock Hines: "Wot ho! Big Bog Berson Philo Cooper copped all the coin in falls for sweet Sally Simpkins, th' the game. If you need a fiver till sweetheart of Somerville. And she next allowance, stay clear of the win- x invites him for a cruise down the ner of this game cause he has it no Mississippi on her sand scow, longer. Hooray!" Bers: "That's all right, but what Peeping Toms Use does this R. S. V. P. mean?" (points to p. p. page). Telescope In Work Hines: "Lessee, that means that you've got to rent a swallowtail coat. Chief Moore has just recently dis- and pants, of course. Some class to covered a unique method of making that party." money. The view of Evergreen Hall Bers (looks at alarm clock): "Gosh! from his room is unexcelled and the boat leaves in an hour" (jumps many have found it delightful: so up). delightful in fact, that the Chief now Scene 2. has a steady source of income from Bold Berson rushes rapidly 'round students who use his telescope to gaze Robb and flags fleeing Faxon car, upon the beauties (of nature). Cot- Scene 3. ton Perette says the view of Sears- Blushing Berson, plus S. V. P.. Roebuck is almost sublime when seer sto greet sweet Sally. He slips on slimy skin of abominable banana and falls - -----..-..-...... _, flatly at feet of surprised Sally. ACT II. 'WE WONDER' A dozen days downstream. Blithe Berson wildly wooes simpering Sally in face of stern opposition from war- Why MariAnne Painter thinks he bling Whitaker, who for many moons is the eighth wonder of the world.. has had hopes of having a honey- How Hightower gets that way with moon in high hills with singing Sally the ladies. as his honeyed helpmeet. Why Logan thinks he is a basket- Scene - (11:31 p. i.) ball player. George and Sally sit at starboard Why Paul and "T" spend so much of sand scow "Sauerkraut" watching time in the Publication Office. whispering wavelets. Mad-mooded Why Whittaker joined the W. C. May moon softly sheds silvery sheen T. U. on surface of meandering Mississippi. Why McDougall failed to sign. Sally sighs. George gulps. They hold Why Doctor Mac ordered a new hands. supply of Blue Ointment. Whit: "Ah. Sally (points to m. m. How Cotton Perette passed English. M. moon), methinks you resemble Who started the fire in the Kappa yon queen of night as she serenely Gig lodge. perambulates the diagonal concavity What the outcome of the Hinson- of the cerulean heavens." Kimbrough feud will be. Sal (simpers): "Oh, George-" Why Comus Kelly taken Trigg. (footsteps fall. Berson blunders by). Who told the Beta Sigs that 'they'd Sal: "0, hello Bill" ever go Sigma Nu. Whit: "0 Hell-o." Who told Wisewell he could teach. Bers: "Gosh." Who told Cooper he was a detec- Scene 2 tive. Stern of sand scow Sauerkraut. Where Mrs. Rutland goes after Bers and Whit conversing, breakfast. Whit: "Both of us can't stay here. Why Jimmie Walls is so popular One of us has got to leave." Bers: "Gosh." Whit: "Let's flip a coin to see who leaves." (Whit produces coin. Flips it. Heads turns up:) Bers (anxiously) : "Do I win?" Whit (sadly): "No Bill, you lose." Bers: "Gosh." I with the athletes. Where Allison Cole gets her jokes. Why Bruce Tucker wears a mous- tache. Why Martha Burton slammed her door. We wonder what the intentions of "The Flying Scotchman" are. Why Teddies Johnson and Izzy ACT Ill. Sane Key spent the night in Whit- Scene I. taker's room. Deep night. The sturdy scow Who told Raskrob he had a car. Sauerkraut is moored at Mud Mead- What Red Beazy does between ows, Miss. Bers, plus S. V. P., steals dates. stealthily to gang plank. Sally slips Who told Johnny Hughes he could from starboard. Whitaker watches write Serials. from tar-board. If Teddies Johnson is being rushed Sal: "Willyum, where are you by K. D. going?" Why Herbert Newton goes to the Bcrs: "I'm just going to town to "Rosemary." buy some apples." Why Paul Jones walked home. (Sally takes step, slips on slimy What Painter sees in Pape. skin of same abominable banana and If Professor Griffin ever went to slides into muddy Mississippi. Brave College. Berson, before realizing that he can't Why they have a freshman issue.. swim, dives into the deeps of the roll-_ _ _ _ _ _ ing river. Wily, watching Whitaker son): "No. I must marry Willyum. sees sad plight and opines that he He needs someone to take care of has great opportunity. He reaches him." ready rope into river and pulls per- Whit: "Curses!" ishing pair aboard.) Bers: "Gosh!" Whit (stretching upper extremities (And glowering George groped toward soaking Sally): "Come into gloomily ashore.) the arms of a he-man from the hills.' And that, gentle reader, is why Sal (glancing at bedraggled Ber- Whitaker wears a scowl.' '*1 On your radio Tueaday... lis- ten to Lorna Fantin, famous numerologist. She'll toil you bow nams and dates affect success in business, love or unrriage. A real radio thrill. WREC and entire Columbia network at 7:15 P.M. Central standard time !,OLDGOLD" C[GARETTE RADIO PROGRA Page Five Marshal Whitaker Drinks Listerine Prohibitionist Whitaker has been acting queerly of late. Two state po- licemen entered Stewart Hall the other'day without first filing notice of their intention; George dashed quickly around the corner. There came a tinkle of broken glass; George reappeared, in a few minutes. There was a strong smell of Listerine on his breath. "Yes," said Whitaker, in reply to the unuttered question of the police- man, "I find that Listerine increases my speaking ability greatly." "But, Henry, I can't go to Ken- tucky with you." "And why not. honey?" "You know very well, darling, that I've had indigestion lately and I hear that the Kentucky feuds are just ter- rible." O'C LO C K 01'. L .alld Co... iU. _ _ _ _ _ Absolutely DiFFerent From All Others Os n I nn n r am "" ALL-CREAM ICE CREAM (Made of Pure Cream-No Artificial Makeshifts) A quality product in which you can taste the quality. Ball-Bearing SKATES The lowest price in town for these nationally known skates- adjustable to any size for young men and women. (For girls only-have you seen the new trouserette-frocks? and the combination sport shirt-with-shorts? They're smart and they're inexpensive.) SEARS, ROEBUCK and CO. Retail Department Store 1 ! -1 I1I RETAIL CLOTHIERS' ASS'N OF MEMPHIS Beasley Bros., Jones & Ragland' Phil A. Halle Oak Hall Walker M. Taylor Golden Eagle Clothing Co. SUPPORTERS OF SOUTHWESTERN Come To REX G WHERE R OPEN 'TILL THE COLLEGE 1 4:00 A. M. GANG SAT. AND D S L SUNDAY DINES! f NIGHTS L After The Dance or Show A La Carte Orders Also Plate Lunch 30c Evening Dinner 55c 1953 Poplar St. _ _I _________ __ _I_______ ____I ___ Better Spelling Week Liftcoln, Nebraska-(I P)-A "Bet- ter Spelling Week" is the suggestion of Prof. Maurice H. Wessen, of the English department of the University of Nebraska, who declares that every- one protests the bad spelling of to- day, but does nothing about it. Personal experience is the basis of all real literature.--George Henry Lewes. More poter YOU n d j e H 'e d e k n II 0 ?E._[ M_ i EE E QU,'WESTER Milsaps Majors.March OffWith Two Victories OverFighting L ynxSquad "Little Goat" Hale.Leads Militant Lads.In Pair OT Hard-Fought Baffles In Barn Gym Millsaps sneaked out of the Barn- des. "Shifty" played even more bril- yard gym with a couple of games liantly than "Goof;" dashing here, last Wednesday and Thursday nights.yon, and everywhere.' In his zealous- The first game was very.close, andrness the big center lost his footing but for a last half rally which netted once, and sat rather energetically 20 of the Major's 46 points, the Lynx down amid the applause of the spec- would have encountered very little tators. trouble. As it was, the final whistle Toward the end these. two "never found the two teams:grappling des- say die" fighters showed the strain perately in the middle of the floor. of examinations somewhat. "Little Goat" Hale wasthe big shot for the victoiousMaors. His floor work was also' passable..Knight, Diehl, "Flashy" Barbour, and two of the guards stood out for the' Cats.,.,"............,., 1 BOB AND G~OF STAR L CRIRRIP The Lynx seemed tired during the second game, and the visitors eked out a 54 to 34 victory.The contest really wasn't as close as the score in- Apologies to G. Rice and P. Shaffer. dicates, the Majors scoring, alost at Football prospects are admirable. will until the advent of "Hinky" Hin- It is rumored that a few of the foot- son and graceful Bob Logan upon the ball players passed enough work to scene in the late minutes of the af- be eligible. Nothing definite, how- b fair. Where these two stalwarts were during the rest of the game remains a mystery. Iow so ever that may be the moment they began to show their stuff, the Millsaps coach rushed in his third stringers. Whereupon the scoring ceased. "Goof" did some beautiful dribbling but mostly in cir- I I Week Cor. Sat., Feb. 7 REUNITED- JANET GAYNOR CHARLES FARRELL In Their Greatest Picture "The Man Who Came Back" Fox Movietone Drama. Junior Features ever. What they need around here instead of Spring Training is-Spring Cleaning-clean out all the profs who won't give an athlete a break. Even a moron can see that a man who goes out for athletics and also works on a job (maybe) has less time to study than a frat loafer with noth- ing to do except the dances and other folks. Therefore, why make things harder for a man just because he wears an "S" or a numeral? The logical thing would be to make things easier, if possible. You have to hand it to the basketball team. In spite of two Conference night games during Exam week, most of them passed-some' plum out of school. However, most of them did better than the aver- age this year, which is very low, by the way. "Sheriff" Kniht showed the sketics.a c r e F 14 n, w A ti b p 0 re p to u h< sa HMygood Rings Gong for Grind Athletic Director James HaY- good announced on his recent visit here that wring Training for the varsity will begin on Monday, March 2. This prac- tice will be both to acquaint Haygood with the men and to teach them the rudiments of the game. It is understood that the new coaching staff will not attempt to make this training period a grind. This year'sfreshman team will be included in the practice ses- sions. Alabama Man Will Help Lead Lynx John Miller Is Assistant To Jimmy H-aygood John Miller, a member of the champion Alabama team of 1930, has been named as assistant football) coach at Southwestern. Miller was ecommended very highly by Jimmie laygood, newly appointed Southwest- rn Athletic Director. He will re- port on September 1. Miller, who was rated as an excel- lnt guard at the Capstone, termi- nates his college career this June. He was picked on the Sports Writers' All-Southern and starred in many of he games that were instrumental in bringing the 1930 Southern Clham- pionship to Alabama. Although no fficial announcement has been made egarding Miller's duties, he will robably coach Freshmen and help ttor the varsity linemen. Here's a Hot Story When a thief attempted to hold p John Shepard, Springfield, Mo., ot tamale salesman, Shepard rubbed )me of his wares in the gunman's !es, whereupon thebandit screamed Porteous and Ross-Fargason Track Place In Marathon Laddies Pound Pavement to Cop First and Fourth Clark Porteous running for dear Old Gaston, Pee Wee's park, galloped in to an easy first place in the City Park Cross Country Race last Sun- day. Clark looked very, very good as he broke the tape some four hun- dred yards. in front of his nearest rival. His tme of 10:43 was amaz- ingly low for the stiff two mile Dan Ross, Pee Wee's stray horse, stumbled in a few minutes later, a very bad fourth. Considerably har- rassed at the end by Riverside's fifty-. one year old prodigy, Tom Collins. young Ross showed rare courage in starting off so potent a threat. Ross did right well, though. I ,- Gets Attention W. C. Rasberry'and his crew hve been bearing down in an effort to have the Fargason Field track in perfect condition fo this spring. The curb has been completed on the straightaway and a heavy poplar fence placed around the north end to keep trucks and wagons off. In addition to the S. I. A. A. Con- ference meet, there will be an All- Mcmphis prep. school track affair held on Fargason track, as well as several dual meets and a Triangular session between Southwestern, Union, and Millsaps. The Prep School meet should stim- late track interest among the Mem- phis High Schools and bring out some excellent performances by the young "cinder padders" and field men. Two turkeys were found alive on a Colorado farm after they had been buried in a snow drift for 57 days. Saturday Night is Now a "Breaking" Night At The CASINO Featuring Nate Evans and His Casino Orchestra Collegiate Nights- Friday and Saturday Joe Bennett, Mgr. Telephone 7-3609 When you want GOOD dry cleaning, see "City" Thomason or Bill Walker Mat. 25c Night 50c I to 11 p. m Thrilling Drama! Throbbing Love! ZANE GREY'S "FIGHTING CARAVANS" with GARY COOPER Lily Damita Ernest Torrence Tully Marshall A Paramount Picture VAUDEVILLE GUS EDWARDS Presents his PROTEGES OF 1931 Who are "Headin' For Broadway" And Other "Ace" Acts I" Mon.-Tues.-Wed. Feb. 9-10.11 Has a girl with a past, a future? DOROTHY MACKAILL Answers this in "Once A Sinner" A Fox Picture Thurs.-Fri.-Sat. Elizabeth Madox Roberts' Great Novel "THE GREAT MEADOW" with JOHN MACK BROWN ELEANOR BOARDMAN p3otfe3 i s wawTmesot every da y ansd slave hour after hour knocking the elusive celluloid about with those heavy paddles. Ugh! The very name paddle gives me creeps. "Peewee,' get your crew together and come out and give.the Ping-Pong lads and las- sies (yes, femmes play too) a big hand. It is rumored that the varsity will receive net sweaters with Dr. Pepper emblems, with ten, two and four on them. *** Herb Newton, Southwestern's bid for an All-American berth next year, looks like a real martyr to the cause with his bandaged eye. Wonder if he is getting much sympathy from the weaker sex. 5* * Who told "Snookums" that he could referee? Anyway, he does the team more harm refereeing than he did playing-maybe. * * * If the "Flying Scotchman" wins the two-mile S. I. A. A. race this spring, the gymnasium should be removed from its present site to Evergreen Hall.' * * * Poor Razzberry has been over- worked. Slaving day after day on the track almost finished Southwest- ern's popular young physical director. At any rate, Mrs. Daily wishes that he would just say that he doesn't like fish instead of sending his dinner back and demanding a new one on the pretext of a sore throat. * ** If Bill Walker could sling opposing football players around with the ease and dex- terity with which he handles hash, Southwestern would have another All-American candi- date. * * * Bye, Bye, Webb. Yes, it's sad but true. Coach Webb Burke will not be back next year. Here's hoping that the new administration keeps up Burke's good work. We wish Webb continued success as a ball-player this spring and a coach next fall. He's 0. K. Suitor-May I ask, sir, if you think your daughter would make a suitable wife?" Lawyer-No, sir, I don't think she would. My fee is one hundred dol- lars, please." rln ,Lc it 2' c 1( shoo '-,A, t 7N twb youths,'qnrttfng over al lan, engaged in a gun-battle asj of was letting out. SEMI Peabody Hotel Bldg. 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